Top Ten Ways To Annoy GG Characters
by ronXbouillabase
Summary: Annoy! Annoy! Chuck, Blair, and now, Nate. : D
1. Chapter 1

**Ten Ways to Annoy Chuck Bass**

A/N: A little list I composed a while ago….TV based….only up to Season 2, Episode 5.

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1. Pay for Nate to change genders, then point him out to Chuck and switch Nate back just when they're in Chuck's bedroom. Laugh at the ensuing argument ("Dude! Get off! It's me, Nate!" "No, Archibald, there was an insanely hot girl just there…")

2. Tell him his father lost all his money and that his years of underage drinking and womanizing are OVER, baby.

3. Laugh at his futile efforts to seduce hot, desperate women in bars and the result (their suddenly-appearing boyfriends slugging him down)

4. Tell him that guys wearing bras and dresses (the former on top of the latter) is a huge turn-on for Blair, and watch him get scorned mercilessly by abovementioned lady.

5. Remind him constantly that if he had never been born, his mother would be alive. Ooh, and don't forget to rub in that his father will hate him forever for it.

6. Say loudly, "OMG! Marcus just apologized to Blair, and apparently they have it going on again?…" and watch Chuck rip his hair out and curse like a sailor with a stubbed toe.

7. Scream into his ear the day he's having a particularly bad hangover.

8. Burn his Church's of England shoes. And his obnoxious tweed suits.

9. Mock the scarf.

10. Post a video of him singing in the shower "We are family! Lily, Bart, Serena, Eric, and Me!" on YouTube, and watch his subsequent humiliation from all the boys at the Saint Jude's.s


	2. Chapter 2

Top Ten Ways To Annoy Blair Waldorf

A/N: So, by popular demand (I'm talking, like, one whole reviewer asking for this) I will branch this out into a story. : ) Only up to Season 2, Episode 11

Not half as good as my other one, in my opinion, but whatevs. Honest reviews over flattering ones!

Disclaimer: All The CW's/Cecily Von Zieglesar's. And I don't own any of the other references….just the story.

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1. Hide her La Mer skin cream in the morning. Watch her consecutively scream, shake Dorota, and beg her mom to let her stay home.

2. Remind her that she and Chuck are meant to be, and bear a certain resemblance to a certain couple in *cough*Gone With The Wind*cough* and *cough*Princess Diaries 2*cough* and *cough*Pride and Prejudice*cough* and *cough*Star Wars Five*cough* and *cough*even Shrek*cough*. Wow, my throat is really acting up, excuse me.

3. Talk about how she lost her Abercrombie and Fitch-model boyfriend to little Jenny Humphrey, of all people.

4. Sign her up for Sex Education classes with Professor Chuck Bass.

5. Torment her with the idea that when Chuck said 'I'd rather wait' it was just a sign that there were other, hotter women around. Her delusions will grow to such an extent that one day she will stand in the middle of the Constance Billiard/Saint Jude's courtyard on top of one of their stupid stone tables and scream, "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

6. Force her to spend quality time with Cabbage Patch Head, and enjoy her screams of agony once Dan starts asking her how he can fix his 'issues' with Serena.

7. Talk about her dysfunctional relationship with Mommy and her great relationship with Daddy. Too bad he's on the other side of the Atlantic in his French Chateau with his _husband_. Watch her cry.

9. Giggle about how her ability to turn men _off_ is just as good as, if not better than, her ability to turn men _on_.

10. Blackmail her into using last season's cellphone for the next season, too. Oh, the horror.


	3. Chapter 3

Top Ten Ways To Annoy Nate

A/N: Top Ten Ways To Annoy Nate! Vanessa's last name is Abrams. This is really suckish, but I hope you can cough out a bad laugh at least a little bit.

The pickup lines are actual to the show. : D Isn't Chuck's the sexiest….: D

Disclaimer: All content belongs to The CW/Cecily Von Zieglesar, and no affiliation with HSM etc.

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1. Wax philosophical on his irritating resemblance to Zac Efron.

2. When he and Gabriela (oops, _Vanessa_….Anne Hudgens….oops, _Abrams_….) are about to make out, turn on 'You Are The Music In Me'.

3. Send flowers to his Pop in rehab. Sign the card 'From Eleanor Waldorf-Rose'.

4. Mock his inability to decide on a girlfriend (Blair? Vanessa? Blair? Vanessa? Then….Catherine? Vanessa? Vatherine? Vanessa? then.... Vanessa? Jenny? Vanessa? Jenny?)

5. Dye his lovely Abercrombie and Fitch-esque blond hair dark brown. Watch him moan the loss of his All-Americanness.

6. Host a 'Chuck Bass Fan Club' meeting at the Archibald mansion. Watch screaming fans tear his clothes (and Abercrombie boxers) to pieces, then realize he's Nate and not Chuck and hang him. Naked. He will be missed. ::sheds crocodile tear::

7. Direct him to a telephone post, say it's Vanessa and watch him hump it.

8. Maroon him on an island surrounded with snapping crocodiles with the ghost of Bart Bass. Watch him quietly turn gay.

9. Host a pickup line contest.

**NATE: So….um….you want to go out sometime?**

**CHUCK: Let's catch up! Take off our clothes, stare at each other.**

**DAN: Let's get out of here. You want to get out of here?**

Watch the female studio audience make a mad dash for Chuck, the male studio audience turn gay and run for Dan, and Nate cry in the dust of both respective groups.

10. You know the Sex Ed from the list to annoy Blair Waldorf? Make him watch.

**Tail Note: Jenny: Next Victim!**


End file.
